In the early months after John's death, I would have a Forrest Gump urge to start walking across the country, never stopping until my toes were in the chilly waters of the Pacific. Or, I'd daydream about driving, driving, driving across the country on an endless road trip in an endless summer. Chasing that glorious … Continue reading Travel Therapy
God
Three Years: Our Kids’ Perspectives
Arriving at the three year mark has felt different than the previous two years. It has reminded me of the days when our children were babies, and we had to transition from saying they were "weeks old" to "months old" to "years old." Some of you will know what I am talking about. Someone would … Continue reading Three Years: Our Kids’ Perspectives
When Anxiety Tugs
One day last week, we held hands and they prayed for me. My youngest and my oldest and me. A triangle of three. Her hands were delicate, his were strong. They have needed me for years. Last week it was my turn. I simply needed them to pray for me. Because parts of last week … Continue reading When Anxiety Tugs
New Year Jitters
First things first, I hope all of you had a very merry Christmas with family and friends. I was reminded again this year of how much I treasure the gift of Christ more than ever. What would I do without Him? How would I breathe and function in our loss if I didn't have the … Continue reading New Year Jitters
Only He Can Do This
Have you ever had a breakfast that almost turned into lunch? It happened to me this week when I met another widow for breakfast. We left the restaurant close to noon. : ) She is decades ahead of me on this journey. Oh how I hope to have the vitality and energy and sparkle she … Continue reading Only He Can Do This
Speaking Honestly about Grief
Grief is a riddle. What is invisible to everyone else, but you can't escape? Grief. It is awkward to be a mourner disguised in normalcy. I think that maybe our culture shouldn't have discarded the tradition of wearing black during the first few months of mourning. I wouldn't have minded it because it would have made … Continue reading Speaking Honestly about Grief
A Story with a Different Ending
Jay and Katherine Wolf are on the other side of our story. In 2008 Katherine had a catastrophic brain stem stroke, very similar to John's, but she survived. She was 26 years old and the young mom of a 6 month old baby boy. Their story is heartbreaking and inspiring. Jay's commitment to love and Katherine's willingness … Continue reading A Story with a Different Ending
Living the Vows
They are the unwelcome words at a wedding. Those five words, “until death do us part." On a day of beginnings, when death and separation are furthest from our minds, those words barge in. Like in a fairytale, when a vengeful fairy crashes the royal wedding with a curse of doom. Entirely unwelcome. Yet, entirely … Continue reading Living the Vows
Grace & Grief Meet
Over the next few days, we pieced together what had happened to John. It was a beautiful spring afternoon, and he stopped by the university on his way home to go for a run. Security camera videos show him walking out of the gym into brilliant afternoon sunlight. Several people saw him on the jogging … Continue reading Grace & Grief Meet
The Day Life Changed
John had disappeared. For several hours we had been trying to retrace his steps. I knew something was very wrong because he left his downtown office late in the afternoon but never came home for dinner. It had been one of those teamwork nights for us: me at a meeting, him planning to come home from … Continue reading The Day Life Changed
where love takes you 