Earlier this week, big problems and small annoyances were mounting up and irritating me, but the bigger issue was deeper. Underlying my frustration was the reality of being a widow. You see, the hardship of this journey is still the same as it was five years ago when it was fresh. Yes, I am more … Continue reading You Don’t Have To Fake It
hope
He Loves Us Back to Life
Last month, March 8 came around again and marked five years since John went to heaven. Five years is a long time to miss someone you love. Years ago, in our early days of dating and marriage, I feared losing John. I couldn't imagine life without him. The thought of experiencing a loss that great … Continue reading He Loves Us Back to Life
Stay in Today
You woke up today in what was your tomorrow. It is profoundly true; the future unfolds one day at a time. Methodically, rhythmically, always on time. We are getting to the future slowly but surely. There are times when it just can't get here fast enough because you are anticipating what is ahead. Like when there … Continue reading Stay in Today
Strength One Step At A Time
In March 0f 2012, my life as a widow was just beginning. With four children to continue raising, I was stunned with the realities of parenting alone, keeping a household running, making business decisions, and comforting our children in their loss. Life needed more from me than I had to give. Everywhere I looked there … Continue reading Strength One Step At A Time
Brokenness Doesn’t Define You
I wake up every day surrounded by broken pieces of a life I used to know. It isn't a novelty. After four years, I am familiar with this unexpected life that greets me each day. I am not alone. If you're an adult, you know brokenness- maybe in yourself or in someone you love. I … Continue reading Brokenness Doesn’t Define You
Christmas Doesn’t Have to be Perfect to be Peaceful
The house is quiet this morning. My four children nestled snug in their beds. Rain is hitting the window of my office as I type. All is cozy. Even though John isn't here with us, there is peace in my heart. I still marvel to find peace in my heart and mind; it is real and … Continue reading Christmas Doesn’t Have to be Perfect to be Peaceful
Travel Therapy
In the early months after John's death, I would have a Forrest Gump urge to start walking across the country, never stopping until my toes were in the chilly waters of the Pacific. Or, I'd daydream about driving, driving, driving across the country on an endless road trip in an endless summer. Chasing that glorious … Continue reading Travel Therapy
When Anxiety Tugs
One day last week, we held hands and they prayed for me. My youngest and my oldest and me. A triangle of three. Her hands were delicate, his were strong. They have needed me for years. Last week it was my turn. I simply needed them to pray for me. Because parts of last week … Continue reading When Anxiety Tugs
New Year Jitters
First things first, I hope all of you had a very merry Christmas with family and friends. I was reminded again this year of how much I treasure the gift of Christ more than ever. What would I do without Him? How would I breathe and function in our loss if I didn't have the … Continue reading New Year Jitters
Only He Can Do This
Have you ever had a breakfast that almost turned into lunch? It happened to me this week when I met another widow for breakfast. We left the restaurant close to noon. : ) She is decades ahead of me on this journey. Oh how I hope to have the vitality and energy and sparkle she … Continue reading Only He Can Do This
where love takes you 